Dilemma...

    Okay, so here is the deal. Back in October, I had narrowed down my college search to three colleges. Ohio University [OU], The Art Institute of Pittsburgh [AIP], and Savannah College of Art and Design [SCAD]. I sent in all of my applications about the same time, like middle/end of October-before Halloween. Ten days later, I got accepted at AIP. I had visited, and upon reflection deleted that choice because of campus, location and overall lack of likage. Also, it wasn't cheap. Like, $80thou. So then I waited for SCAD and OU to send their letters. I received around five letters from SCAD informing me that I was missing materials [aka a portfolio, which I hastily compiled of what I thought were my best essays and scripts that never got utilized], and three from OU [about boring transcript stuff]. Sent those in by January 1st. Received more letters. Cried from anxiety and frustration, then sent more stuff in. Took a deep breath. Got a letter from OU. Accep-oh, missing final transcript. Waited some more. Letter from SCAD...they received my package. Tttthhhhhhanks. By then, I had found another school to consider, that I was in looooove with. The University of the Arts London College of Communications [LoCoComm]. So, I applyed there. The date was shortly before V-Day.
    About a month or so ago, I got an acceptance letter from OU. VAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOO!!! Okay, now SCAD, come on, come through for me....nothing. I get nothing in a month. So, amidst all the tension and apprehension, I read through my submission works again. Wow. I suck. There's no way I can get in this school, I mean, I just can't. I want to, but no way. Plus, I'm not hearing anything. Ohkay, well, everyone wants me to go to OU, they're all pushing it, its cheaper by far, maybe I'll just say I'm going there...*phone ring* What's this, Unknown Number? Better let it go to voicemail. Besides, I'm in Photography and it'd be rude to answer a phone now...*three days later* I have a voicemail?? Wonder who its from...Oh wow, the Art Institute! I forgot about you! You want to know if Im still comi-oh yeah. About that. No. I'm attending OU because its cheaper.
    Suddenly, as soon as I said it aloud, I realized, thats exactly what I was going to do. I was going to go to OU. So I called two of my friends that attend there already, and told them that no matter what my reply was from SCAD, I was going to go to OU. Of course, they were excited for me and I was pretty meh about it. I went home and re-read over some of my portfolio that I sent to SCAD. And then proceeded to convince myself that they sucked. So, I told a few more family members about my decision, was met with rehappicitedness [a mixture of relief, happiness and excitement], and grew more excited and secure myself. Sunday, March 14, 2010 rolls around. I gather my immediate family and one set of grandparents together and spill the news. Instant satisfaction rolls off my parents, relief again from grandparents at closeness of college. Go home and fill out housing form. Lay back in bed and think how life is pretty easy, future set, I'm good to go...
    ONE DAY LATER...March 15, 2010. Get home early, like usual, check mail like usual, find package. Addressed to...me. Not usual. Its from SCAD...its thick. Open it. Congratu-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! OH MY GOD IM IN!!!! IM IN!!!!! IMINIMINIMINIMINIMINIMIN!!!!! They liked my stuff, they liked me, I have succeeded! Oh I can't wait-oh. OU. So much for life being easy and the future being secure. Well crap. So, I tell my parents and mention going down to visit. "Whatever for?" They ask. "Well, I might want to go there if I like the campus..." I mumble. "Oh Hannie, you can't change your mind now. Are you flip flopping? You're flip flopping aren't you?" They say, followed by a few more responses I tuned out.
    Because I was thinking, maybe the reason I was so laissez-faire about OU was because I always knew it wasn't the school for me. Like, why settle for a Dramatic Writing program when I want to be a screenwriter, and SCAD has that program. And so much more. Who cares how expensive it is? Am I going to look back in ten years and think, damn, if I had just been willing to drop a little bit more and went there instead of here, I might not be picking up the slack at Moe's writing the menu. I mean, maybe sacrificing now will help me later. All I know is this is something I have to try, but I just don't know what to do. I already told everyone I was going to OU, and I signed my housing contract already.
    Am I being reasonable here, or am I being Bella, with OU as my Jacob and SCAD as Edward? Am I bitching about something other people would love to have, or do I have a legitimate decision? What do I do? Maybe I just needed to get this all of my chest. In that case, whew. I'm so glad no one reads this.

Post Script: I LOVE YOU @JESSMCFADDEN/PONDEROSA_GLITZ!


Today Is: Forgive Mom&Dad Day [not that I told them this or anything like that].
Word of the Day: " Quandary."
Lesson Learned Today:
    The Hulk>Spiderman. Just saying.