Welcome, Fellow Gnerds!

A gnerd [pronounced, "NER-dh"] is a noun.
It is used to name someone who both reads Asimov and can fix a computer virus.

We know every line from Dr. Horrible and the subplots
and backplots of Who.

We lurk around bookshelves.

We listen to Josh Groban and Chameleon Circuit.

We are every Judith, Max and Russell.

We congregate conventions.

We are the next generation.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My Life Summary?

I thought I would start off with a "Things I've Learned So Far..." kind of deal, just to commemorate what exactly it is I know, after roughly 10,000 hours inside a classroom and countless more being manhandled by the clammy hands of life.

-People lie.
-honesty does not go far.
-You can go your whole life believing there are only two ways to prove the existence of magic [1 being Barry and Stuart, 2 being Disney's magic castle], and then one book later that theory is proven wrong in so many ways.
-it seems to be impossible to "stick it to the man" when the man is hiding behind men in neatly pressed suits who dont like being "stuck."
-labels are for losers
-people who are wannabe's dont know what they want to be
-Its the thought that counts, but some people are too lazy to turn it in to anything more than a thought [thanks David W]
-Being crazy every day keeps the men in white coats away.
-those little black things in bananas are tarantula eggs [thanks Noel]
-if vegetarian soup is hot, that means somebody named Kevin made it.
-don't believe the hype.
-if youre going with the flow, youre a tuna. If you swim against it, youre a nuisance.
-Pop punk music can't lead to anything good except an occasional awesome karaoke party.
-Accents are sexy; doesn't matter where from, they just are. No exceptions. Except maybe Klingon.
-The term "best friend" is demeaning. Not necessarily to the person you are referring to, but to the people you're NOT.
-Hippies were cool before Fonzy was cool.
-Life is one big contradiction.
-The condoms are behind the armoire of despair.
-Life is one big contradiction.
-I will never find my Dexter.
-Nobody does their math homework in pen [thank you Jake]
-The best way to get praise is to die [italian proverb]
-Nassim Al Fakir can amuse me for hours just by laughing.
-Anything too silly to be spoken is sung.
-Purple eyeliner will get you free drinks. Red eyeliner will get you a free breathalyzer test.
-Sex is the biggest nothing of all time [Andy Warhol, although recently supported by Kevin Jonas]
-Nothing is left unfinished; it is simply abandoned.
-If you want to make a month-by-month cut-out calendar depicting every act in the kama sutra done by animals, National Geographics can help.
-"Making headway" is a funny expression.
-"Tempestuous cacanation" is a googlewhack! [02.04.08]
-The Latin word for "sheath" is "vagina"
-Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Those are the basic lessons I have learned in my 17 short years.