Welcome, Fellow Gnerds!

A gnerd [pronounced, "NER-dh"] is a noun.
It is used to name someone who both reads Asimov and can fix a computer virus.

We know every line from Dr. Horrible and the subplots
and backplots of Who.

We lurk around bookshelves.

We listen to Josh Groban and Chameleon Circuit.

We are every Judith, Max and Russell.

We congregate conventions.

We are the next generation.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

So I Love My Dad.

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.
Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.
All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.
She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

Today Is: I Am In Control Day
Word of the Day: "
Lesson Learned:
    MLIA has some of the best inspirations for stories I have ever seen.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Something I Found Whilst Reading...

I love this poem so much.

"But surely Adam can not be excused,
Her fault though great, yet he was most to blame;
What Weakness offered, Strength might have refused,
Being Lord of all, the greater was his shame:
Although the Serpent's craft had her abused,
God's holy word ought all his actions frame,
For he was Lord and King of all the earth,
Before poore Eve had either life or breath.
Who being framed by God's eternal hand,
The perfectest man that ever breathed on earth;
And from God's mouth received that straight command,
The breach whereof he knew was present death:
Yea having power to rule both Sea and Land,
Yet with one Apple won to loose that breath
Which God had breathed in his beauteous face,
Bringing us all in danger and disgrace.
And then to lay the fault on Patience' back,
That we (poor women) must endure it all;
We know right well he did discretion lack,
Being not persuaded thereunto at all;
If Eve did err, it was for knowledge' sake,
The fruit being fair persuaded him to fall:
No subtle Serpent's falsehood did betray him,
If he would eat it, who had power to stay him?
Not Eve, whose fault was only too much love,
Which made her give this present to her Dear,
That what she tasted, he likewise might prove,
Whereby his knowledge might become more clear;
He never sought her weakeness to reprove,
With those sharp words, which he of God did hear:
Yet Men will boast of Knowledge, which he took
From Eve's fair hand, as from a learned Book." Excerpt from "Eve's Apology In Defense of Women," by Amelia Layner.

Its one of my favorites, if not my absolute fav.

Today Is: Besides my brother and Harry Houdini's birthday, National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day!
Word of the Day: "Atone"
Lesson Learned:
    I cackle when I watch Family Guy...its frightening.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


    Okay, so here is the deal. Back in October, I had narrowed down my college search to three colleges. Ohio University [OU], The Art Institute of Pittsburgh [AIP], and Savannah College of Art and Design [SCAD]. I sent in all of my applications about the same time, like middle/end of October-before Halloween. Ten days later, I got accepted at AIP. I had visited, and upon reflection deleted that choice because of campus, location and overall lack of likage. Also, it wasn't cheap. Like, $80thou. So then I waited for SCAD and OU to send their letters. I received around five letters from SCAD informing me that I was missing materials [aka a portfolio, which I hastily compiled of what I thought were my best essays and scripts that never got utilized], and three from OU [about boring transcript stuff]. Sent those in by January 1st. Received more letters. Cried from anxiety and frustration, then sent more stuff in. Took a deep breath. Got a letter from OU. Accep-oh, missing final transcript. Waited some more. Letter from SCAD...they received my package. Tttthhhhhhanks. By then, I had found another school to consider, that I was in looooove with. The University of the Arts London College of Communications [LoCoComm]. So, I applyed there. The date was shortly before V-Day.
    About a month or so ago, I got an acceptance letter from OU. VAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOO!!! Okay, now SCAD, come on, come through for me....nothing. I get nothing in a month. So, amidst all the tension and apprehension, I read through my submission works again. Wow. I suck. There's no way I can get in this school, I mean, I just can't. I want to, but no way. Plus, I'm not hearing anything. Ohkay, well, everyone wants me to go to OU, they're all pushing it, its cheaper by far, maybe I'll just say I'm going there...*phone ring* What's this, Unknown Number? Better let it go to voicemail. Besides, I'm in Photography and it'd be rude to answer a phone now...*three days later* I have a voicemail?? Wonder who its from...Oh wow, the Art Institute! I forgot about you! You want to know if Im still comi-oh yeah. About that. No. I'm attending OU because its cheaper.
    Suddenly, as soon as I said it aloud, I realized, thats exactly what I was going to do. I was going to go to OU. So I called two of my friends that attend there already, and told them that no matter what my reply was from SCAD, I was going to go to OU. Of course, they were excited for me and I was pretty meh about it. I went home and re-read over some of my portfolio that I sent to SCAD. And then proceeded to convince myself that they sucked. So, I told a few more family members about my decision, was met with rehappicitedness [a mixture of relief, happiness and excitement], and grew more excited and secure myself. Sunday, March 14, 2010 rolls around. I gather my immediate family and one set of grandparents together and spill the news. Instant satisfaction rolls off my parents, relief again from grandparents at closeness of college. Go home and fill out housing form. Lay back in bed and think how life is pretty easy, future set, I'm good to go...
    ONE DAY LATER...March 15, 2010. Get home early, like usual, check mail like usual, find package. Addressed to...me. Not usual. Its from SCAD...its thick. Open it. Congratu-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! OH MY GOD IM IN!!!! IM IN!!!!! IMINIMINIMINIMINIMINIMIN!!!!! They liked my stuff, they liked me, I have succeeded! Oh I can't wait-oh. OU. So much for life being easy and the future being secure. Well crap. So, I tell my parents and mention going down to visit. "Whatever for?" They ask. "Well, I might want to go there if I like the campus..." I mumble. "Oh Hannie, you can't change your mind now. Are you flip flopping? You're flip flopping aren't you?" They say, followed by a few more responses I tuned out.
    Because I was thinking, maybe the reason I was so laissez-faire about OU was because I always knew it wasn't the school for me. Like, why settle for a Dramatic Writing program when I want to be a screenwriter, and SCAD has that program. And so much more. Who cares how expensive it is? Am I going to look back in ten years and think, damn, if I had just been willing to drop a little bit more and went
there instead of here, I might not be picking up the slack at Moe's writing the menu. I mean, maybe sacrificing now will help me later. All I know is this is something I have to try, but I just don't know what to do. I already told everyone I was going to OU, and I signed my housing contract already.
    Am I being reasonable here, or am I being Bella, with OU as my Jacob and SCAD as Edward? Am I bitching about something other people would love to have, or do I have a legitimate decision? What do I do? Maybe I just needed to get this all of my chest. In that case, whew. I'm so glad no one reads this.


Today Is: Forgive Mom&Dad Day [not that I told them this or anything like that].
Word of the Day: "
Lesson Learned Today:
    The Hulk>Spiderman. Just saying.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

List #9

Top Ten Sounds I Love

10. Pages turning- I adore hearing the soft rustle of pages being flipped. Especially if they drag for a moment on one another. I think that sound is just beautiful.
9. Soft static on radios-soft static is comforting. Loud static is annoying.
8. Thunderstorms at night- I crawl into my bed and sleep better than babies on Eszopiclone. For reals. This also goes hand in hand with rain. Rain is one of the most soothing sounds in the world. I am a firm believer that rain connects souls.
7. Fire crackling- as long as its not burning down a house or a forest fire, then we are good to go. Actually, just let me disclaim that and rephrase it to say, "Contained Fires."
6. When my kitty mews and it sounds like he is saying "Mommy." -ALSO- when my dogs make noises when they're cuddling that sound content.
5. Josh Groban's voice in the morning, waking up from a bad dream- this has happened by pure chance far more times that I'm comfortable admitting. Suffice it to say, I sleep with my iPod on, and no longer have nightmares as often. Thank you, Josh Groban.
4. Leaves and snow crackling under shoes- unless the snow squeaks. I don't like that so much. But when its a softer sort of crunch sound, it just kind of brings to mind presence. Like weight. Existence. Here. Now. That kind of thing.
3. Unidentifiable laughs- You know what I'm talking about. When you swear someone laughed, real soft and close to your ear, but you turn around and look but no one is there. I love that sound. The laughter of angels, babies and fae.
2. Acoustic guitar- there is something so simple about the acoustic guitar. Its almost like the instrument itself is shy. The electric guitar is like a yelling, screaming attention whore, whilst the acoustic guitar strums and whispers to you tales from childhood. At least, thats what it sounds like to me.
1. Heartbeats- If they aren't mine, I love listening to them. There is something so, I dunno, real I guess about them. They make me feel like I'm here, like they're just so final. Each beat could be the last one, and that pause after every one is always filled with a morbid curious wonder, like, "will it beat again?" and makes the next beat more precious. You know?

Today Is: Besides being St. Patty's Day, it is also Submarine Day.
Word of the Day: "Forsooth."
Lesson Learned Today:
    If you laugh with your mouth open and someone throws something in it, swallow it. They should know better than to throw things.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

List #8

Top Ten Actors* With Fantastic Comedic Timing
(in no particular order, as usual)
10. Ben Stiller- as seen in such films as Night at The Museum, Dodgeball, and Zoolander.
9. Eric Stonestreet- Modern Family's Cameron. His partner Cameron, played by Jesse Tyler Ferguson, is also hilarious, so I consider them a package deal (but not that way).
8. Ty Burrell- This guy is friggin funny. Like, I saw him in some crappy remake [of an eighties movie that rocked my world], and he sucked. Then, I saw him on Modern Family, and he made me want to make a catchers mitt, steal a ball from a young child and ride bikes with my dad.
7. Ricky Gervais- The dude's a comic genuis.
6. Joel Moore- You know him as J.P. from Grandma's Boy and Owen in Dodgeball, and I love him.
5. John Candy- It is in memorial of John Candy that I watch movies like Spaceballs. Watch it, I dare you not to laugh.
4. Jason Segel- Whenever I see an episode of How I Met Your Mother, Jason Segal makes me believe I can find my own Marshmallow. Also, his facial ticks and features make everything he says and does funnier. Plus, the guy can write some funny stuff. The naked break-up scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall made my life worth living (for the comedy in the situation...not the nudity. Get yo head outta da gutter).
3. Neil Patrick Harris- Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, The Emmys, The Tonys, HIMYM, Harold&Kumar Go To White Castle, Harold&Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay [best pseudo-death scene in a movie EVERperiod]-anything the guy is in is automatically a must-see. The comedy force is strong in this one.
2. Jonah Hill- Accepted- "Ask me about my weiner!" Yup. Best thing ever.
1. David Henrie- The sole reason I watch anything on the Disney Channel. Honestly, he is the best thing about that show, and his comic chops are terrific. He was the reason I wrote this list.

Bonus: Chris Farley. Yessiree. He lives IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!! This is my ringtone, and not for lack of reason.

*Actors of the male variety.

Word of the Day: "Contagion"
What I Want Right Now: Vegan Cinnabun
Lesson Learned Today:
    You can be a diva and still like Monsters, Inc.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

List #7

Top Ten Things I Needed To Do Today...But Didn't

10. Write some more of my fantabulous script- Siobhan is in the middle of her first date with Peter and she's just beginning to see something fishy- and its not because they're at Red Lobster...
9. Straighten Hair- If I'm going to shower later....yeah, I'll pass on that pointless task. Geez. *I just realized I don't have a hair straightener!*
8. My Latin homework- Its too early to say, but I'm just going to go with, no, Im not going to finish it today. Romani iusserant alterum nuntium cum celeritate ad castra accedere.
7. Find overdue library book- I know its here somewhere...eh, I'll look tomorrow.
6. Film Audition Tape- what to say about me..what to say......Hi Im Hannah, I go to school, I think Im pretty awesome and I could play this part. Also, I'm mad obsessed with Neil Patrick Harris, so if I could meet him that'd be great. See? This is his hair...and his dry cleaning bill [*four sweater vests*].
5. Send out my swaptree item- sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ooooooooooooooooh. About that one......Guess how late it is? Go on, guess...TWO WEEKS! Gah. I suck.
4. Deposit paycheck- Bank closes in ten minutes. No time for that one.
3. Blog- An actual blog, not a top ten. I'm considering changing my blog name to My Life In Tens or something...Lists of My Life...Life To-Do List...I dunno. Something like that.
2. New Shoes- Black high tops. It's happening. *Refer to earlier post here*
1. Finish Music Video- Guess where I'm going tomorrow? Kent State! Guess what I'm bringing with me? Candy! Anyone want to help me film this? I'll give you free candy. No joke.

    A Wall Street Journal study shows that in the average football game there's only 11 minutes of actual play. I also learned this does not surprise me. No wonder I prefer hockey and tennis.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

I am officially a "Girl" now.

    I am now one among the throngs of girls who have read and responded to Nicholas Sparks' novel, The Notebook. Now, I have never seen the movie, and I didn't want to see it without giving myself a chance to develop my own characters in my head before I was doomed to always picture the movie stars every time I read the book. Of course, I knew who played the characters, but I hadn't seen them actually in character yet, so I was fine.
    Anyways, I read the book and I loved it. Granted, I felt like every stereotypical girl while I was reading it, but I didn't care. That's how much I adored it. And I felt the passion and the romance and the whirlwind and the confusion, and I understood it. I haven't ever been in a relationship before, not a real relationship anyway, nor do I need or want to be right now, but I still got it. I understood it, I felt in, I experienced it along with the characters. My life was invested in their choices, I was spending my time in their days, and I even almost felt like we were friends.
    I do feel like saying, however, I totally called the ending, most of it anyway, and I only made one false prediction. But when I got to the end part where "He" is reading to "Her," I came across a paragraph of words that really connected with me, and so I'm going to share it with you.

    “You are Hannah, a lover of life, a strength to those who shared in your friendships. You are a dream, a creator of happiness, an artist who has touched a thousand souls. You’ve led a full life and wanted for nothing because your needs are spiritual and you have only to look inside you. You are kind and loyal, and you are able to see beauty where others do not. You are a teacher of wonderful lessons, a dreamer of better things...Hannah, there is no reason to feel lost, for:
Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,
No birth, identity, form-no object of the 
Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;...
The body, sluggish, aged, cold-the embers
    left from earlier fires,
    ...shall duly flame again:” (The Notebook, 164*)
    How beautiful is that? I mean, honestly! That is one of the best, most loving descriptions of someone I have ever heard in my life, and I'm so proud that Nick Sparks chose my name to say it about. And all I have to say on that subject is this; Nicholas Sparks knows what he's talking about. 

*Oh yeah I even did it in MLA Citation baby!!
    Sparks, Nicholas. The Notebook.
        New York: Warner Books, Inc., 1996. Print. 164

    You can think you have everything in your life figured out, and the next second, its a jigsaw puzzle.

Friday, March 5, 2010

List #6

Top Ten Most Annoying Traits in People

10. Touchy-Feely People- Get your hand out of my ear. No, don’t put it on my shoulder-ohkay, that’s enough..STOP TOUCHING MY NECK! Um, that’s not my knee
9. Knuckle cracking-eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaggggghhck!!!! *Spine Shudder* [Added by Harrison: Also toes. Cracking toes is disgusting.] (Kevin says, don't crack knuckles-crack skulls *punches hands together near my ear*)
8. Exaggerated Empathetic- The people who agree with everything you say, that have gone through the exact same issues you have, that have advice on every subject, those people just make me cringe. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE A COCKAPOO NAMED RINGO WHO IS IN LOVE WITH YOUR MALTIPOO NAMED TEDDY, TOO?!?! It’s just not possible.
7. Looking Through Stuff without Asking- I hate you I hate you I hate you. I don’t grab your mom and go through her without asking. Please don’t grab my backpack and rifle through it, don’t flip through my book-especially if I’m already reading it! Don’t grab a paper that I’m writing on and read it, don’t grab my wallet and look through it for money, don’t move a book I’m doing homework out of, just KEEP YOUR FLIPWILSON HANDS OFF!
6. Reading over Shoulder- Just. Don’t. Do. It…Kevin.
5. Overzealous Nodders- You know those people, the ones that nod and go, “oh absolutely! Yeah, uhuh, oh sure, mmhmm, go on, I know! Totally, sure, mmhmm, oh I’ve been there, uhuh, uh-huh…” Those people annoy me. I don’t need your approval to keep talking! I just naturally assume you’re listening.
4. People Who Say “Awesome” to Describe Everything*- Its called a thesaurus. But, here, I’ll give you some for free. FANTASTIC, AMAZING, GREAT, ASTONISHING, WONDERFUL, MAGNIFICENT, TERRIFIC, IMPRESSIVE, MAGESTIC, STUNNING, nifty! Okay, nifty might not work, but still. A load of other words you can use.
3. Excessive Profanity- You can say it without swearing. I know it’s possible because most everybody at my church does it, and they usually get their point across. Now, I understand that some things need emphasis, but if the ratio of cursing to “socially acceptable” words is 2:1, something’s wrong.
2. Nervous Laughter- If you think its funny, laugh. If you don’t, it’s not a big deal. I much prefer knuckle cracking to nervous laughing. Just, you know, an FYI.
1. Coming up behind you and hugging you- I really hate that. I mean, I’m not a touching kind of person. I don’t hug people often, and when I do, I’m probably in a “I’m-So-Tired-I’m-Hallucinating-That-You’re-Jake-Gyllenhaal” state of mind. But, really, don’t hug me from behind. I might be forced to bring out some of my renowned tae kwon do moves on you…yeah I’m a green belt. Don’t test me, foo. [Kevin just bust out laughing, and I have no idea why...perhaps he was committing #6?]

And the absolute, take-the-caker, is People Who Chew With Their Mouth Open- You all know someone who does it. Maybe you do it. I want to know what your food looks like inside your mouth just as much as you want to know what it looks like coming out. And the noise, that chomping, the chewing, it just makes me want to put a vacuum hose in your mouth and turn it on. So, on this one, I'll just give you some modified advice from the greatest wizard there ever was. Keep it hidden, keep it safe.

BONUS FROM HARRISON: People who poke you in the chest when they’re mad at you - *awkward look at Monica* (or to make a point)- Apparently, you think I need a bruise to remember what you’re saying. I’ll remember the fury, but when you poke me, I slip into an awkward rage of my own, and I won’t remember anything after that. Much like the Hulk.

*EXEPTION: Barney Stinson

    The original flavor of Twinkies was banana, but when the US went through a banana shortage during WW2, they switched it to vanilla, which became so popular it stuck.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

List #5

Top Ten Sexy Accents

[In no particular order because, lets be honest, they're all just as equally redeeming and sexy in their own ways.]

10. Argentinean
9. Enunciation [aka speaking Crosby, Sinatra, Dean, Brando, Connery] -OR- Lisp [Jake Gyllenhaal.]
8. Italian
7. Irish
6. Australian [no, thank you Heath Ledger, Keith Urban, Eric Bana and Jackman.]
5. Welsh
3. Russian
2. Scottish [aaaaaaaaaand thats a rap Mr. Tennant. Thank you, you gorgeous hunk of Who, you.]
1. British [All Of Them. Every. Single. One.]

    Roald Dahl could speak English, Norwegian and Swahili. He had to learn it for his work in Africa (for Shell in 1930). This of course means that I will now be learning the fantastical language of Swahili. Hi-ho, college tutoring!!