Top Ten Signs You're At A Geek Convention:
10. You hear more Kanye/Taylor impressions during introductions and people NEVER stop thinking its funny.
9. Walking down the hall and overhearing the apparently ongoing conversation about "the pros and cons of incest" makes you turn your head and realize you're the only one who thinks something is off about that...
8. You see a girl dressed up Sonic the Hedgehog being chased by a banana being chased by a gorilla being chased by an EAGLE and continue on your way.
7. You become so competitive while taking your tests that you actually find yourself giving the poor guy next to you taking Latin Derivatives Level I the evil eye while you fill out the decoy answer sheet to your Mythology Level II papers.
6. You hear The Lonely Island's "Like A Boss" and roughly %5 of the total population is shaking it like Seth Rogen. The other %95 is looking around in confusion, bobbing their heads to the admittedly catchy beat.
5. You shell out $10 for a t-shirt that says "Im On A Boat," on the front, and "Don't you ever forget" on the back...in Latin.
4. The hottest guy here is wearing rainbow shorts, purple suspenders [and not the cool kind], a sweatband, and open-toed sandals with white cotton socks and yelling, "Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts!"
3. There's a dude here who is Josh Groban's doppleganger. There's also a guy carrying around a giant-sized axe painted red and yellow with black polka-dots.
2. People are competing to see who knows more about obscure Greek and Roman myths, who knows the most Latin bases, ablatives of means and definitions of Latin words and bases of English words, being SOOOOOOPER competitive about it and serious, and you're just concentrating on not pressing your buzzer and saying, "that was easy!"
1. Its the only place where the Kool-Aide Man, Harry Potter, Star Wars, laser guns, oversized banana suits, Star Wars, Transformers, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu, Star Wars, hillbilly farmers, bulldogs, togas, Star Wars, Yoda, the words "praetexta," "illegetimes," and "nauta" on t-shirts, 300 references, I JUST LOST THE GAME-games, Star Wars, ABBA's "Dancing Queen," Texas Hold 'Em, dolls, men dressed as princesses, a ratty old dog being passed around to doers of good, Star Wars, a mural of an alligator made out of tictacs and M&Ms, the Superman insignia standing for something other that the word "super," empty pizza boxes littered in halllways and Miley Cyrus' Party In The USA on speakers can all coexist in the same room and be considered completely normal. Oh, did I mention Star Wars?
Bonus: Someone here is named Spyro Efpraxius. I am going to adopt him.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
I am full of wonder, surprise, fantasy, and carbon dioxide, but Im only good for you in small doses.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Childhood...
I finally figured out what my problem in life is. Im too adult. I mean sure, I have my angsty teen moments, just like everyone else, but for the most part, I'm an uppity snob. I find it hard to have good conversations with people my age because usually I freak them out, and adults and I don't always click*. Like, I think sometimes I might be intimidating because I keep updated on political happenings and I read Austen and Hawthorne and Lewis and Tolkien and Adams and Asimov and Klosterman and the findings of Newton, and I'm sarcastic, which is a very advanced form of intellectual humor that most adults [and several young adults] aren't used to. Also, I hate adults who boss me around just because of my age, and people who would rather walk all the way across the mall just to avoid walking next to me for half a second [<---what am I going to do, molest your child? Give me a break, I have blue and pink hair, not a ten foot long penis sprouting from my spinal cord like a tail that belongs on Ord from Dragon Tales (NERD POINTS FOR THE OBSCURE PBSKids SHOW REFERENCE!!!) I mean, come on people. Get over it. If Michael Jackson can be white, I can have Joss Stone hair.]
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Director Tim Burton's (if you don't know who he is, you don't watch movies) trademark is scarecrows. They make an appearance in every one of his films.
Anyway. Back to the point. I act like an adult now, preferring to sit quietly in a corner and observe rather than be in the midst of action, always ready to kiss a scraped knee on a child but rarely willing to take responsibility for their mistakes. SO, you know, like a parent. And I think this is because I never had a childhood. Growing up the oldest of four with a brother 11 months younger than me, there was always another kid behind me, and I learned nurturing at an early age. Sure, I watched Barney and Friends, but I was more concerned with the fact that Josh and Jake get something out of the episode, while I was planning out the next coloring page [yes. I color coded my coloring books. DWI]. So I never really got to experience Elmo for all he was worth.
Also, I was never a humungous fan of Cap'n Crunch or Trix or any of those cereals. If I ate anything other than Cheerios [God I love them] or Kix, it was Life or BooBerries when we had them, which wasn't often. While kids my age were learning to read, I was teaching myself, and by the time my peers were struggling through Curious George's Day at the Zoo, I was devouring The Babysitters' Club, The Saddle Club and Sweet Valley High Series. When my classmates reached the age where they were learning Monster Math [and I was zoning out in class] I was reading Little House In The Big Woods. By the time fourth grade rolled around, and my classmates were listening to Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls, I was dressing up like Laura Ingalls and begging my mom to let me take my lunch to school in a pail. I had never even heard of N'Sync, I hated Britney Spears, and didn't really watch Nickolodeon. Instead, I was listening to the likes of Rascall Flatts [I was there in the early years,] and ELI, Cat Stevens and The Beatles, Josh Groban and The Commodores. I watched the same VHSes over and over again, was a big fan of Cyberchase and Liberty Kids, and was contemplating raising my kids to be Amish [I was still obsessed by Laura Ingalls]. That was pretty much my childhood. Oh, and whenever I was reading, I ate.
My solution to this lack of a childhood problem is simple: My Eighteenth Year, as well as whats left of my Seventeenth Year, will hereby be devoted to doing as many things childlike as possible; swinging on swings, playing soccer and not caring how good I am, picking flowers and not worrying about my bee allergy, drinking apple juice any chance I can get, and watching Sesame Street [I miss the old version. Don't like Abby Cadabby. Harumph], writing fan mail to J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis [I know they're dead Im not going to send them. Just write them], read Eric Carle and Dav Pilkey on my breaks at work, and chill with Asprin and Addy, my two imaginary friends.
So that is my resolution, My new, modified, updated resolution. And I'm starting with devouring this nice large bowl of Lucky Charms in front of me. Its orgasmically delicious!
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Director Tim Burton's (if you don't know who he is, you don't watch movies) trademark is scarecrows. They make an appearance in every one of his films.
List #3
Top Ten Reasons I Do Not Miss McDonalds
10. Hair On My Fries-they're called hairnets. You wear them on your head. Look it up.
9. The Play Area Smells Like Feet-if you need Lysol, its like $3.
8. Nasty Restrooms*- Just clean it. If you cleaned it regularly, it wouldnt be as gross the next time you did. I clean bathroom at my work. Just clean it.
7. F@c$3d up Orders- Yes um, I would like the fries-Okay you want the large BigMac?-No, just fries and a small Pepsi please.-Oh, sorry, you want Chicken Nuggets and Onion Rings, hold the Tomato.-NO! I WANT THE FAMN DRIES AND A PUCKING FEPSI!
6. That Crap They Call Apple Pie-you can't get it wrong, and yet somehow, they do.
5. Supersize Me-If you haven't seen the movie, do it now. Or later.
4. That Bloated Feelins I Get-even when Im not bleeding through a lower orface.
3. Unfriendly Staff-AM...I...SPEAKING...SLOW...ENOUGH...FOR...YOU?!?!
2. Low Ratio of Pop to Water-I am never happy with my drink. Ever.
1. Because McDonalds=McCruelty [Im vegan.]
*This includes sticky floors and dirty tables.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Ax leaves scorch marks on your walls...but only if you set it on fire first.
10. Hair On My Fries-they're called hairnets. You wear them on your head. Look it up.
9. The Play Area Smells Like Feet-if you need Lysol, its like $3.
8. Nasty Restrooms*- Just clean it. If you cleaned it regularly, it wouldnt be as gross the next time you did. I clean bathroom at my work. Just clean it.
7. F@c$3d up Orders- Yes um, I would like the fries-Okay you want the large BigMac?-No, just fries and a small Pepsi please.-Oh, sorry, you want Chicken Nuggets and Onion Rings, hold the Tomato.-NO! I WANT THE FAMN DRIES AND A PUCKING FEPSI!
6. That Crap They Call Apple Pie-you can't get it wrong, and yet somehow, they do.
5. Supersize Me-If you haven't seen the movie, do it now. Or later.
4. That Bloated Feelins I Get-even when Im not bleeding through a lower orface.
3. Unfriendly Staff-AM...I...SPEAKING...SLOW...ENOUGH...FOR...YOU?!?!
2. Low Ratio of Pop to Water-I am never happy with my drink. Ever.
1. Because McDonalds=McCruelty [Im vegan.]
*This includes sticky floors and dirty tables.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Ax leaves scorch marks on your walls...but only if you set it on fire first.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Why The Nazis Were Right*
*I am not a NeoNazi. I am just looking at both sides of the equation here. Me personally, I think what they did as dispicable, but Im sure that they didnt think that.
This is an essay I wrote freshman year, after watching "The Uprising" [as opposed to Schindler's List] and given the prompt, Can a moral man maintain his moral code in an immoral world?
‘Can a moral man maintain his moral code in an immoral world?’ was the theme from the movie Uprising, as asked by Mordacei Aneilewicz. That question remains unanswered today. But a bigger, more luminous question exists as well; were the Germans’ actions moral during the Holocaust? My answer is yes, they were moral, if unethical and inhumane.
Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg stated that there are five stages of morality in a human. Stage four declares that if the law says it is so, and then if you are obeying the law, you are remaining moral. The law said that the Jews were scum, and to exterminate them. The Germans were following the law, so they were sticking to their moral code.
Adolf Hitler thought that there was an upper class of the human race, a superior class, the Aryans. Hitler and the Nazis thought that they were doing the world a favor, ridding it of the inferiors cluttering the Aryans existence. Namely, Jews, Catholics, blacks, homosexuals, the infirm, old, and mentally retarded. In their minds, they were doing the correct thing in that situation, and it was in their minds that they were obeying their morals.
Some Germans thought that what they did was above the law. Kohlberg says that is stage five of morality, believing that your opinion is better than law, if it is right. Schindler thought this (in Schindler’s List), and so did Commander Wilner (in Uprising). They both helped the Jews, even though that was betraying their own country. They were obeying their morals, because what they were doing was, in their minds, morally correct, even if it was breaking the law. They were also ethical and humane, unlike the others.
So, in conclusion, the German Nazis kept their moral code in an immoral world. Although, it was they themselves who created that immoral world, they stuck to what the law said, and they remained moral. In doing so, however, they destroyed the morals of others, like the Jews, and also took away their hope. And we can ask, is it more important to maintain morality, or keep ethical? That is a question that will fuel debates for all time.
Note: This does not necessarily reflect my own opinions. Its just an essay, don't read too much into it. Besides, I would make a terrible Nazi. I've got Compassion Syndrome. I take what everyone is feeling and reflect it on myself.
This is an essay I wrote freshman year, after watching "The Uprising" [as opposed to Schindler's List] and given the prompt, Can a moral man maintain his moral code in an immoral world?
Hannah Rounds
Holocaust Argument
Honors World History 9
Mr. Swetter
German Morality
‘Can a moral man maintain his moral code in an immoral world?’ was the theme from the movie Uprising, as asked by Mordacei Aneilewicz. That question remains unanswered today. But a bigger, more luminous question exists as well; were the Germans’ actions moral during the Holocaust? My answer is yes, they were moral, if unethical and inhumane.
Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg stated that there are five stages of morality in a human. Stage four declares that if the law says it is so, and then if you are obeying the law, you are remaining moral. The law said that the Jews were scum, and to exterminate them. The Germans were following the law, so they were sticking to their moral code.
Adolf Hitler thought that there was an upper class of the human race, a superior class, the Aryans. Hitler and the Nazis thought that they were doing the world a favor, ridding it of the inferiors cluttering the Aryans existence. Namely, Jews, Catholics, blacks, homosexuals, the infirm, old, and mentally retarded. In their minds, they were doing the correct thing in that situation, and it was in their minds that they were obeying their morals.
Some Germans thought that what they did was above the law. Kohlberg says that is stage five of morality, believing that your opinion is better than law, if it is right. Schindler thought this (in Schindler’s List), and so did Commander Wilner (in Uprising). They both helped the Jews, even though that was betraying their own country. They were obeying their morals, because what they were doing was, in their minds, morally correct, even if it was breaking the law. They were also ethical and humane, unlike the others.
So, in conclusion, the German Nazis kept their moral code in an immoral world. Although, it was they themselves who created that immoral world, they stuck to what the law said, and they remained moral. In doing so, however, they destroyed the morals of others, like the Jews, and also took away their hope. And we can ask, is it more important to maintain morality, or keep ethical? That is a question that will fuel debates for all time.
Note: This does not necessarily reflect my own opinions. Its just an essay, don't read too much into it. Besides, I would make a terrible Nazi. I've got Compassion Syndrome. I take what everyone is feeling and reflect it on myself.
Friday, February 19, 2010
List #2
Top Ten People* With The Best Laughs
[Bonus; Their categories!]
10. Jimmy Fallon- Chipmunk Laugh
9. Nassim Al Fakir- Belly Laugh.
8. Seth Rogan- I-smoked-too-much-marijuana-in-high-school-and-my-vocal-cords-have-no-movement Laugh.
7. Stuart Broad- I-don't-think-this-is-funny-I'm-just-humoring-you Chuckle
6. Jimmy Carr- Monotonous Laugh
5. Ricky Gervais- Squealing Laugh (Let it be known, I adore Ricky Gervais, and his laugh most def. amuses me. But lets face it, its totally bursting, squeaky and awesome.
4. Fran Drescher- uuuuuuuurrrrrrreeeeeeeeegh Laugh.
3. Catherine Tate- I-Truly-Think-This-Is-Funny-And-Am-Not-Afraid-To-Laugh Laugh.
2. Elijah Wood- Explosive Laugh
1. Horatio Sans- Contagious Laugh
*Let me clarify: Celebrities.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Where does the king keep his armies?
[In his sleevies!!!]
[Bonus; Their categories!]
10. Jimmy Fallon- Chipmunk Laugh
9. Nassim Al Fakir- Belly Laugh.
8. Seth Rogan- I-smoked-too-much-marijuana-in-high-school-and-my-vocal-cords-have-no-movement Laugh.
7. Stuart Broad- I-don't-think-this-is-funny-I'm-just-humoring-you Chuckle
6. Jimmy Carr- Monotonous Laugh
5. Ricky Gervais- Squealing Laugh (Let it be known, I adore Ricky Gervais, and his laugh most def. amuses me. But lets face it, its totally bursting, squeaky and awesome.
4. Fran Drescher- uuuuuuuurrrrrrreeeeeeeeegh Laugh.
3. Catherine Tate- I-Truly-Think-This-Is-Funny-And-Am-Not-Afraid-To-Laugh Laugh.
2. Elijah Wood- Explosive Laugh
1. Horatio Sans- Contagious Laugh
*Let me clarify: Celebrities.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Where does the king keep his armies?
[In his sleevies!!!]
Thursday, February 18, 2010
List #1
Top Ten Collaborations You'll Never Hear
10. Michael Buble V. Avril Lavigne [both Canadian, eh.]
9. Carly Simon V. Justin Beiber
8. Kanye West V. Taylor Swift [but you knew that]
7. Weird Al V. Josh Turner
6. Justin Timberlake V. Elvis Costello
5. Katy Perry V. James Blunt [eh...i could dig it.]
4. Fall Out Boy V. Kristen Chenoweth
3. Jim Morrison V. John Lennon [shouldawouldacoulda]
2. Cher V. Lily Allen
1. Lady Gaga V. Josh Groban [but I would love it]
Honorable Mention:
Linsday Lohan V. John Mayer. Lets face it-even with Mayer a declared fan and friend of Sam Ronstad or whatever her name is, their vocals don't mesh well. Although that didn't stop him on Half of My Heart...
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Green Eggs and Ham was the product of a dare.
10. Michael Buble V. Avril Lavigne [both Canadian, eh.]
9. Carly Simon V. Justin Beiber
8. Kanye West V. Taylor Swift [but you knew that]
7. Weird Al V. Josh Turner
6. Justin Timberlake V. Elvis Costello
5. Katy Perry V. James Blunt [eh...i could dig it.]
4. Fall Out Boy V. Kristen Chenoweth
3. Jim Morrison V. John Lennon [shouldawouldacoulda]
2. Cher V. Lily Allen
1. Lady Gaga V. Josh Groban [but I would love it]
Honorable Mention:
Linsday Lohan V. John Mayer. Lets face it-even with Mayer a declared fan and friend of Sam Ronstad or whatever her name is, their vocals don't mesh well. Although that didn't stop him on Half of My Heart...
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Green Eggs and Ham was the product of a dare.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Selfish Lesson (Learned?)
Last night, I cried because my TiVo erased the only recording I had left of The Mighty Boosh. Thats right, honest-to-goodness cried. I'd like to chalk it up to me being stressed out, overworked, exhausted and food-deprived. But that's not the real reason. The real reason those burning tears of frustration coursed their way down my ungrateful face was that I am a selfish child. I have a house, a warm bed with plenty of extra blankets [I think I have enough for them to finally be considered a collection], running water, electricity and, if I do say so myself, incredibly fashionable clothes.
I have a job, a car, and a phone. I have an iPod, a phone and a camera [all broken in some way but still working] and many shelves brimming with well-thumbed books, and heaps of movies. I have money in the bank, money in my iTunes account and money in my DragonBank [my version of a "piggybank"]. I have a brand new computer, enough money left over from cell phone bill, gas and car insurance payments that I can afford to see movies and buy organic clothes and eat healthy food and buy my friends presents. So why am I crying?
Believe me when I say, I'm not usually like this at all. I used to have a pretty weak TV-watching-schedule, that mainly consisted of watching The Soup to see all the important parts of shows that I missed and listening to the daily "ohmygoddidyouseewhatHousedidlastnightandthenGreysAnatomywasonandIcouldnttearmyeyesaway" talk that my peers have. I occasionally watched talk shows, and then I limited myself to The Ellen Show and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson [I'm sorry, Oprah, but quite frankly I find you over-hyped. At least Ellen dances.]. Oh, and when Glee is on, I watch that. And of course, Supernatural-and How I Met Your Mother [<--god love you, NPH]. And all the BBC shows-okay fine. So I watch alot of shows! Judge me.
But I don't get upset like this that often. I mean, sure, I get mad when someone erases one of my shows, but I dont cry about it. So what in the hell-o Kitty franchise-made me cry about a show that will probably be on again later this week, or at the very least will be on itunes to buy? I'll tell you what. I burned my toast yesterday morning.
You're probably laughing right now, like toast doesn't matter: Im here right now to tell you that it does. A piece of bread represents the day ahead of you. Fresh, wholesome, healthy, and maleable. You cant mold it to your liking, make it how you want; you can put soy cheese on it, you can make grilled cheese, you can make a peanut butter sandwich, you can cut the crusts off and eat the bread whole, you can toast it, you can put soy butter on it, you can put an egg on it, you can use it as a Portkey (Amos, you can come out now, I know youre there...), you can scatter it for birds, you could put cinnamon sugar on it, you can feed woodland critters, you can put mayonaise on it and ruin it. Its your choice. But however you decorate/disfigure your bread, its your responsibility to make sure the outcome fits with how you want your day to turn out.
And I apparently flushed my toast down the toilet. I mean I charred that sorry sucker up for all it was worth. Consequently, my day turned out as shit and I was reduced to a shivering pile of tears when I couldn't watch Boosh. This is my life.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Don't touch reindeer.
I have a job, a car, and a phone. I have an iPod, a phone and a camera [all broken in some way but still working] and many shelves brimming with well-thumbed books, and heaps of movies. I have money in the bank, money in my iTunes account and money in my DragonBank [my version of a "piggybank"]. I have a brand new computer, enough money left over from cell phone bill, gas and car insurance payments that I can afford to see movies and buy organic clothes and eat healthy food and buy my friends presents. So why am I crying?
Believe me when I say, I'm not usually like this at all. I used to have a pretty weak TV-watching-schedule, that mainly consisted of watching The Soup to see all the important parts of shows that I missed and listening to the daily "ohmygoddidyouseewhatHousedidlastnightandthenGreysAnatomywasonandIcouldnttearmyeyesaway" talk that my peers have. I occasionally watched talk shows, and then I limited myself to The Ellen Show and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson [I'm sorry, Oprah, but quite frankly I find you over-hyped. At least Ellen dances.]. Oh, and when Glee is on, I watch that. And of course, Supernatural-and How I Met Your Mother [<--god love you, NPH]. And all the BBC shows-okay fine. So I watch alot of shows! Judge me.
But I don't get upset like this that often. I mean, sure, I get mad when someone erases one of my shows, but I dont cry about it. So what in the hell-o Kitty franchise-made me cry about a show that will probably be on again later this week, or at the very least will be on itunes to buy? I'll tell you what. I burned my toast yesterday morning.
You're probably laughing right now, like toast doesn't matter: Im here right now to tell you that it does. A piece of bread represents the day ahead of you. Fresh, wholesome, healthy, and maleable. You cant mold it to your liking, make it how you want; you can put soy cheese on it, you can make grilled cheese, you can make a peanut butter sandwich, you can cut the crusts off and eat the bread whole, you can toast it, you can put soy butter on it, you can put an egg on it, you can use it as a Portkey (Amos, you can come out now, I know youre there...), you can scatter it for birds, you could put cinnamon sugar on it, you can feed woodland critters, you can put mayonaise on it and ruin it. Its your choice. But however you decorate/disfigure your bread, its your responsibility to make sure the outcome fits with how you want your day to turn out.
And I apparently flushed my toast down the toilet. I mean I charred that sorry sucker up for all it was worth. Consequently, my day turned out as shit and I was reduced to a shivering pile of tears when I couldn't watch Boosh. This is my life.
WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
Don't touch reindeer.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Why I Fistpump To Ke$ha
Music is a huge part of my life. I use music to determine how I am going to feel, how the day will turn out, what show to watch after How I Met Your Mother on Mondays nights, and whether or not celebrity relationships will last [<---sorry Taylors Swift and Lautner, "Rehab" decreed that you were over before you started]. I listen to music at work, during school, in the car, and while I sleep [the only thing Avril Lavigne is good for these days]. So of course, my iPod is my best and sometimes only friend. I have named him Simon for when I get lonely and need someone to talk to. I'll ask him a question, and then click Shuffle Songs, and we can actually converse for hours that way. My life is pathetic.
But anyways, going back to the whole music thing, my iPod is my life. Of course, another way to listen to music is the radio, and while Simon [long story. Long, but funny] and my relationship is relatively simple to uphold [he gives, I take], the radio, whom I have named Mornm, and I are a bit more complex. Everytime I turn on Mornm, he plays the same songs over and over again, no matter how much I push his buttons. Every two minutes hes playing another Taylor Swift song.
Its gotten to the point where we have a game called Swiftly Avert where if I hear T-Sweez on the radizzle, I have to quickly change to a station not playing Our Song or White Horse or Fifteen or Teardrops on My Guitar (Drew Talks) or Love Story or [deep breath] Picture To Burn or Im Only Me When Im With You or You Belong With Me or Stay Beautiful or Shouldve Said No or Time McGraw. Yeah, its that hard. So its one point for me per station change, and one point for Mornm if a station plays one of her songs and I start to sing along absent-mindedly. Surprisingly, our scores are pretty close [damn you, Love Story. Damn you to the lowest breathable level of purgatory!]
Sorry about that sidebar. But anyways, back to the point. Ke$ha. Ke$ha is pretty much awesome in size five ripped skinny jeans. Earlier this year, she released a single, Tik Tok, and when I first heard it, I bought a raw tomato to throw at the next person who said white girls can't rap [<---unfortunately for me, I had forgotten that Natalie Portman's Rap on SNL disproved that theory long ago, so the tomato was useless to me and has since melted in a puddle in my garage. Also, I learned that name-checking P.Diddy does not automatically qualify your song as rap, and so the correct phrase would have been, "white girls can't sing ElectroPop, which Cascada and Lady GaGa have already shattered, so pointless again]. Then, when I saw TiK Tok's music video, I cried teardrops of solid gold. One of the previous two sentences is false. You pick.
So, now every single time I hear Tik Tok on the radio, whether its going to school, in newspaper, leaving school early and getting out of that parking lot lickety-split [I went there] or falling asleep at night, I have to do a Situation aka fisbump to the beat. Because, for me, hearing that glorious combination of melody/lyrics/rock/Jack/glitter/booze/Electro/synthesizer, it means that this was a chimerical day [<--i found that word off of thesaurus.com heehee].
I don't even mind that its being played too much. Its like a 4 right now in radioplayratings, 1 being songs like I Will by Ben Taylor, Dollhouse by Priscilla Rene, any song by Will Young, and Ride to California by Paper Tongues, and 10 being Party In The USA by that cursed perky twit, all aforementioned TSwizz songs, that crappy radio localized version of I'm In Miami by LMFAO and Justin Beiber. The highest rating of 15 was received only once, by FloRida's Low.
So, to make a very short story long, I jam out to Ke$ha everyday because a.) the songs symbolizes a good day, b.) its says "brush ma teef wiv a bottle a jack," and I don't even have a desire to correct her atrocious grammar, and c.) its the only song in existence that mentions both P.Dids and Mick Jagger. And you should too.
Thank you.
What I Learned Today:
Aaron Carter beat Shaq by cheating. Its all in the song. So dont cry, Shaq. Aaron's a cheater. Youre not the only one who got duped. You can take comfort with Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff, who both had floppy muic hits like Rumors, Come Clean, Wake Up, Why Not, So Yesterday, With Love-I've gone oveboard, haven't I? Well, just listen to the song yourself. He tripped him. Thats totally a foul.
P.S. I just realized, I have been slamming on recording artists all throughout this post, and I haven't even met any of them. So for that reason I am including a
*DISCLAIMER*
I have never met only listened to any and all of the above recording artists. I am only stating my opinions about their ShitIMeanGarbageIMeanMusic and how the radio is a playlist of twenty or so songs on repeat. That is all, this is my opinion, but you should bewarned that if you dont share this opinion, you will be doomed to drool for the rest of your life every time someone says the word "nasal itch." You have been told.
But anyways, going back to the whole music thing, my iPod is my life. Of course, another way to listen to music is the radio, and while Simon [long story. Long, but funny] and my relationship is relatively simple to uphold [he gives, I take], the radio, whom I have named Mornm, and I are a bit more complex. Everytime I turn on Mornm, he plays the same songs over and over again, no matter how much I push his buttons. Every two minutes hes playing another Taylor Swift song.
Its gotten to the point where we have a game called Swiftly Avert where if I hear T-Sweez on the radizzle, I have to quickly change to a station not playing Our Song or White Horse or Fifteen or Teardrops on My Guitar (Drew Talks) or Love Story or [deep breath] Picture To Burn or Im Only Me When Im With You or You Belong With Me or Stay Beautiful or Shouldve Said No or Time McGraw. Yeah, its that hard. So its one point for me per station change, and one point for Mornm if a station plays one of her songs and I start to sing along absent-mindedly. Surprisingly, our scores are pretty close [damn you, Love Story. Damn you to the lowest breathable level of purgatory!]
Sorry about that sidebar. But anyways, back to the point. Ke$ha. Ke$ha is pretty much awesome in size five ripped skinny jeans. Earlier this year, she released a single, Tik Tok, and when I first heard it, I bought a raw tomato to throw at the next person who said white girls can't rap [<---unfortunately for me, I had forgotten that Natalie Portman's Rap on SNL disproved that theory long ago, so the tomato was useless to me and has since melted in a puddle in my garage. Also, I learned that name-checking P.Diddy does not automatically qualify your song as rap, and so the correct phrase would have been, "white girls can't sing ElectroPop, which Cascada and Lady GaGa have already shattered, so pointless again]. Then, when I saw TiK Tok's music video, I cried teardrops of solid gold. One of the previous two sentences is false. You pick.
So, now every single time I hear Tik Tok on the radio, whether its going to school, in newspaper, leaving school early and getting out of that parking lot lickety-split [I went there] or falling asleep at night, I have to do a Situation aka fisbump to the beat. Because, for me, hearing that glorious combination of melody/lyrics/rock/Jack/glitter/booze/Electro/synthesizer, it means that this was a chimerical day [<--i found that word off of thesaurus.com heehee].
I don't even mind that its being played too much. Its like a 4 right now in radioplayratings, 1 being songs like I Will by Ben Taylor, Dollhouse by Priscilla Rene, any song by Will Young, and Ride to California by Paper Tongues, and 10 being Party In The USA by that cursed perky twit, all aforementioned TSwizz songs, that crappy radio localized version of I'm In Miami by LMFAO and Justin Beiber. The highest rating of 15 was received only once, by FloRida's Low.
So, to make a very short story long, I jam out to Ke$ha everyday because a.) the songs symbolizes a good day, b.) its says "brush ma teef wiv a bottle a jack," and I don't even have a desire to correct her atrocious grammar, and c.) its the only song in existence that mentions both P.Dids and Mick Jagger. And you should too.
Thank you.
What I Learned Today:
Aaron Carter beat Shaq by cheating. Its all in the song. So dont cry, Shaq. Aaron's a cheater. Youre not the only one who got duped. You can take comfort with Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff, who both had floppy muic hits like Rumors, Come Clean, Wake Up, Why Not, So Yesterday, With Love-I've gone oveboard, haven't I? Well, just listen to the song yourself. He tripped him. Thats totally a foul.
P.S. I just realized, I have been slamming on recording artists all throughout this post, and I haven't even met any of them. So for that reason I am including a
*DISCLAIMER*
I have never met only listened to any and all of the above recording artists. I am only stating my opinions about their ShitIMeanGarbageIMeanMusic and how the radio is a playlist of twenty or so songs on repeat. That is all, this is my opinion, but you should bewarned that if you dont share this opinion, you will be doomed to drool for the rest of your life every time someone says the word "nasal itch." You have been told.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Supernatural tribute?
Okay, so there is this fantastical show that is on the CW about two brothers [Sam and Dean Winchester] who hunt demons and evil creatures that lurk everywhere your parents assured you they weren't, and fight with angels and have to keep Lucifer from destroying the world because he just broke out of hell. It's in it's fifth season, and its on every Thursday night at 9p.m. Yes, I know it isn't Thursday yet, but I have missed the past six episodes of Supernatural because I work and by the time I get home, Joshua is watching some stupid sports game and has deleted the episode, so I had to get caught up. I spent almost twenty dollars on iTunes collecting them, and a week waiting for them to download [a week in which, of course, I missed yet another episode I have to now acquire]. So last night, they finished downloading, and I knew it was time for me to delve back into the world of Winchester.
So it was while watching season 5 episode "The Real Ghostbusters," that I realized something. Supernatural rocks! Seriously, its the best show ever! What other show incorporates their fanbase and terms from wellknown fanfiction, their memorabilia, and Supernatural LARPing without loosing the theme! [sidebar: LARPing is Live Action Role Playing...aka dressing up as a character and pretending you're them. Its totally awesome. Try it.]
Before I rant any further, let me restate the premise of the show in slightly greater detail, but only for emphasis because I know that everyone has seen it [right?]; okay, here goes *deep breath* Two big, brawny, serious, emotionally scarred brothers with father issuesare trained by their father to be hunters and kill the wraiths that haunt you in the night [and day] after their mother dies because of one. But then the yellow-eyed demon that killed their mother kills their father and sends him to hell, and then the brothers kill him but not before he kills Sam [the younger brother who denies his fathers ways and goes to college but is pulled back in when his girlfriend is murdered by the yellow-eyed demon] so Dean [older brother who looks up to his father and holds a grudge against Sam for leaving their father and not calling ever but really what it is is that he is jealous that Sam got all of his father's attention and never showed him the approval that Dean so longed for] sells his soul to bring back Sam, then he dies and goes to hell, and unwittingly breaks the first "seal" to set Lucifer free, but is ressurected by the angel Castiel who now is helping them find this magic gun "the Colt" [<---a legendary gun made by Samuel Colt, for real!] to kill Lucifer who has by now escaped from hell, which brings us to...*deep breath* the fifth season, currently running, where the brothers now find out that they are fighting in the last battle on the earth, fighting for the earth, and they are fighting for the angels, but the only way angels can walk on the earth is by "posessing" voluntary humans, called vessels, and that the most powerful angel of all, ArchAngel Michael, needs a very powerful vessel, and that vessel must be very specific, and that vessel just happens to be.....Dean Winchester. You think thats bad, well, Lucifer is walking the earth, but he also needs a willing vessel, and he has had to settle for a not-so-powerful vessel named Tim or Nick or something completely average, and he is breaking, so Lucifer has to convince his designated vessel to allow him in, which won't be easy because his vessel is none other than Sam Winchester. Twists like a soap opera, only clever and unexpected.
Yeah, thats right, its epic. Twilight, you can suck it. You'll never measure up to Supernatural, so don't even try. Stephenie Meyer, your're no Eric Kripke.
By now, I hope you're thinking to yourself, so how does a show this serious and dark [lighting-wise as well as plot-wise] manage to incorporate whole scenes of obsessed Supernatural fans, much less dedicate an entire episode to Supernatural LARPing? Well, I'll tell you how this superbly written show manages such a feat: they have a subplot about a prophet of the Lord named Chuck, who has visions about the brothers fighting in the war between the angels and demons and writes about them in a book series he calls Supernatural. Genius, isnt it?!?!
Another sidebar: somewhere in the second season, insecure guys and hormone-crazed girls [myself included] began to form a Supernatural following, complete with convention booths at ComiCon [my dream to go...*sigh*], fanfiction, Supernatural memorabilia, and my personal favorite, Supernatural LARPfests. So, the show made this character, called Becky, who is every crazy fan rolled into one Superfan. This has enabled them to make several inferences to the Supernatural following, as the Supernatural books in the show have a serious following, and it also makes it possible to dwell on previous monsters they have fought and hear about their lives through other peoples' views, which infuriates Dean and intrigues Sam. Of course, when they do that, they are incognito because people don't know the book series is based off of real lives. They think its fiction [<---ha! Silly fools, of course the Winchesters exist! Even I know this.]
Alright, so back to the topic at hand. The episode, "The Real Ghostbusters" centers around a Supernatural convention. The brothers get pulled there when Superfan Becky steals Chuck's phone and texts Dean that he needs to come right away, life or death situation. They show up, and come face to face with Sam and Dean impersonators, people dressed up as demons from their past, and tables full of Supernatural memorabilia, t-shirts with their catchphrases on them and junk like that [I don't own anything like that...but I want to haha]. So they find themselves caught up in a Supernatural LARPfest, where the coordinator arranges a scavenger hunt in which you have to solve a murder mystery Sam and Dean style. But of course, the background story its based on is true[ish] and its real. And the brothers are swept up in a real ghosty mystery, with several dozen versions of themselves running around and thinking that its all a game.
HOW CLEVER IS THAT?!?! What other show do you know that makes fun of itself?? What other franchise has enough balls to throw the very fans that keep them on air to the dogs of comedy, and come out with even more love from them? Supernatural creator Eric Kripke has several followings, the Winchesters have innumerable fanbases, newcomer Castiel the gorgeous Angel rivals theirs, and even minor characters have groups. And the fact that they just embrace the fact that they're geekier than a play in Klingon written by Russell T. Davies starring Nathan Fillion and referencing Buffy every other line, makes me love them even more. No other show does that as well, and no show will ever do it better.
So this is my homage to Supernatural, the best show ever, even better than Glee. Best thing about it? It is only going to last six seasons. Kripke made the decision before the show was even on air, making every single episode ever the more precious to fans as we are one episode closer to either world destruction or mass devastation, then we will be forced to go about our now meaningless lives after Supernatural and try and find something to fill that gigantiod void in our hearts after the final episode. Personally, Im rooting for the Supernatural movie series.
What I Learned Today:
When cooking, you can replace eggs with applesauce and still preserve whatever taste you were trying to get in the first place. 1/4 cup of applesauce replaces 1 egg.
So it was while watching season 5 episode "The Real Ghostbusters," that I realized something. Supernatural rocks! Seriously, its the best show ever! What other show incorporates their fanbase and terms from wellknown fanfiction, their memorabilia, and Supernatural LARPing without loosing the theme! [sidebar: LARPing is Live Action Role Playing...aka dressing up as a character and pretending you're them. Its totally awesome. Try it.]
Before I rant any further, let me restate the premise of the show in slightly greater detail, but only for emphasis because I know that everyone has seen it [right?]; okay, here goes *deep breath* Two big, brawny, serious, emotionally scarred brothers with father issuesare trained by their father to be hunters and kill the wraiths that haunt you in the night [and day] after their mother dies because of one. But then the yellow-eyed demon that killed their mother kills their father and sends him to hell, and then the brothers kill him but not before he kills Sam [the younger brother who denies his fathers ways and goes to college but is pulled back in when his girlfriend is murdered by the yellow-eyed demon] so Dean [older brother who looks up to his father and holds a grudge against Sam for leaving their father and not calling ever but really what it is is that he is jealous that Sam got all of his father's attention and never showed him the approval that Dean so longed for] sells his soul to bring back Sam, then he dies and goes to hell, and unwittingly breaks the first "seal" to set Lucifer free, but is ressurected by the angel Castiel who now is helping them find this magic gun "the Colt" [<---a legendary gun made by Samuel Colt, for real!] to kill Lucifer who has by now escaped from hell, which brings us to...*deep breath* the fifth season, currently running, where the brothers now find out that they are fighting in the last battle on the earth, fighting for the earth, and they are fighting for the angels, but the only way angels can walk on the earth is by "posessing" voluntary humans, called vessels, and that the most powerful angel of all, ArchAngel Michael, needs a very powerful vessel, and that vessel must be very specific, and that vessel just happens to be.....Dean Winchester. You think thats bad, well, Lucifer is walking the earth, but he also needs a willing vessel, and he has had to settle for a not-so-powerful vessel named Tim or Nick or something completely average, and he is breaking, so Lucifer has to convince his designated vessel to allow him in, which won't be easy because his vessel is none other than Sam Winchester. Twists like a soap opera, only clever and unexpected.
Yeah, thats right, its epic. Twilight, you can suck it. You'll never measure up to Supernatural, so don't even try. Stephenie Meyer, your're no Eric Kripke.
By now, I hope you're thinking to yourself, so how does a show this serious and dark [lighting-wise as well as plot-wise] manage to incorporate whole scenes of obsessed Supernatural fans, much less dedicate an entire episode to Supernatural LARPing? Well, I'll tell you how this superbly written show manages such a feat: they have a subplot about a prophet of the Lord named Chuck, who has visions about the brothers fighting in the war between the angels and demons and writes about them in a book series he calls Supernatural. Genius, isnt it?!?!
Another sidebar: somewhere in the second season, insecure guys and hormone-crazed girls [myself included] began to form a Supernatural following, complete with convention booths at ComiCon [my dream to go...*sigh*], fanfiction, Supernatural memorabilia, and my personal favorite, Supernatural LARPfests. So, the show made this character, called Becky, who is every crazy fan rolled into one Superfan. This has enabled them to make several inferences to the Supernatural following, as the Supernatural books in the show have a serious following, and it also makes it possible to dwell on previous monsters they have fought and hear about their lives through other peoples' views, which infuriates Dean and intrigues Sam. Of course, when they do that, they are incognito because people don't know the book series is based off of real lives. They think its fiction [<---ha! Silly fools, of course the Winchesters exist! Even I know this.]
Alright, so back to the topic at hand. The episode, "The Real Ghostbusters" centers around a Supernatural convention. The brothers get pulled there when Superfan Becky steals Chuck's phone and texts Dean that he needs to come right away, life or death situation. They show up, and come face to face with Sam and Dean impersonators, people dressed up as demons from their past, and tables full of Supernatural memorabilia, t-shirts with their catchphrases on them and junk like that [I don't own anything like that...but I want to haha]. So they find themselves caught up in a Supernatural LARPfest, where the coordinator arranges a scavenger hunt in which you have to solve a murder mystery Sam and Dean style. But of course, the background story its based on is true[ish] and its real. And the brothers are swept up in a real ghosty mystery, with several dozen versions of themselves running around and thinking that its all a game.
HOW CLEVER IS THAT?!?! What other show do you know that makes fun of itself?? What other franchise has enough balls to throw the very fans that keep them on air to the dogs of comedy, and come out with even more love from them? Supernatural creator Eric Kripke has several followings, the Winchesters have innumerable fanbases, newcomer Castiel the gorgeous Angel rivals theirs, and even minor characters have groups. And the fact that they just embrace the fact that they're geekier than a play in Klingon written by Russell T. Davies starring Nathan Fillion and referencing Buffy every other line, makes me love them even more. No other show does that as well, and no show will ever do it better.
So this is my homage to Supernatural, the best show ever, even better than Glee. Best thing about it? It is only going to last six seasons. Kripke made the decision before the show was even on air, making every single episode ever the more precious to fans as we are one episode closer to either world destruction or mass devastation, then we will be forced to go about our now meaningless lives after Supernatural and try and find something to fill that gigantiod void in our hearts after the final episode. Personally, Im rooting for the Supernatural movie series.
What I Learned Today:
When cooking, you can replace eggs with applesauce and still preserve whatever taste you were trying to get in the first place. 1/4 cup of applesauce replaces 1 egg.
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